Thursday, January 29, 2009

Spam With A Side Of Creepy Guys

Is anyone else gettin uncontrollable spam in their AOL inbox? Since the New Year, I get at least 15 or more pieces of spam mail a day. How in the hell do I get rid of them? They aren't even the kind where you can open them and scroll to the bottom and hit unsubscribe. They are so stupid. "You have a check waiting for you" or "Your payment for yada yada yada has been sent to a different bank somehow" blah blah blah blah blah. I seriously need to get rid of these. I don't want to get rid of the e-mail address cuz I have certain things connected to that address but I don't want these e-mails anymore. Eh, I'll figure it out.

The other thing that really is annoying me is getting random requests from guys on myspace. Ok, just because you think I look hot in my default pic does NOT mean I want to be friends with you. I'm MARRIED and not to mention, I have myspace to keep up with friends and family, not to see how many friends I can get. Usually I just deny the friend requests and go about my day. However, I got a friend request from a guy today that I had already denied about 2 weeks ago. To make it worse, he is 43 and super creepy looking. I couldn't just let it rest so I messaged him and said why are you friend requesting me? He read it, but hasn't responded. Just because there are myspace whores out there that want 5098560897569 friends, doesn't mean I am one of them. Oh, and just to let ya know dude, it doesn't mean they really wanna be your friend. You are nothing but a number to them.

I guess maybe I'd be less annoyed if they had good reason to even think about requesting me. I had one guy send me one so I messaged him and asked who is this? He responds with I'm just trying to build my mob. Are you fucking kidding me? What, are you trying to be the godfather of all myspace? How lame are you? And what makes you think I want to be a part of that when I don't even know you. Not to mention I don't even have the stupid app. 

I'm just finding myself losing patience with so many things lately. 

Damn deployment.

The Long Awaited Psychic Post

OK. So I went to a psychic a little while ago and had my cards read. First, let me tell you even despite the fact that I got all good news, it was awesome. It was like talking to someone I had known all my life. She knew instantly that John and I wanted a baby boy and she also said we're gonna get him. I think I am gonna do this in a bit of a bulleted list kinda way just to make it easier.

-She told me I need to switch my gyno. She said that she sees a man helping us out, not a woman. I can totally see that cuz my doc now is NOT helping.

-Guided meditation. Go figure, she said I am a bit too stressed out and while it obviously isn't the main reason I have not gotten pregnant, it isn't helping.

-Babies. She sees babies! She said it looks like it could be up to 4 of them. She sees a little boy first (YAY) and then very shortly after, a little girl. She said it doesn't look like twins though. (Little bummed over that but I will take what I can get). She said the boy will be big and while the little girl will be very tiny, she will be healthy. Only bad part was she said she sees it taking a bit of work. At one point she said for some reason I am seeing eggs going into you but I don't know why. I said that sounds like IVF and she didn't know what it was so I explained it to her and she goes, well there ya have it. Hopefully it won't take IVF but if it gets to that point, at least that's as far as it will get. I Just hope it's MY eggs that are being used.

-Our marriage. She said we have a wonderful marriage and we are gonna make for the long haul. She said we will have some hurdles here and there but come on, who doesn't? She said he is an amazing man who is just full of support and she is so right.  She said most of our problems will be military related (go figure) and it's mostly cuz of the distance. She told me I need to share my feelings more with him about my dealing with the deployment and in our TTC journey. She said that what kills him more is knowing that I am so upset by the fact that we are having troubles havin babies so I need to talk it out with him. (Ack). I'm trying though.

-Health. She said we are both going to be healthy. She did say we both need to protect our hearts (she says mine is good, just not as strong as it could be) but she sees no major problems arising. She said we both need to cut out the soda and he especially should stay away from artificial sweeteners. She gave us a list of herbs and stuff to try out and I believe we are going to. One that can benefit everyone is green tea. She said it has wonderful anti-cancer benefits. She also said coffee is good for both of us.

-Money. She said with a career change will come money. She said we won't be celebrity rich or anything but we will be very well off. How exciting is that? His career change is coming in about a year. I'm so glad we will be ok with money. Especially with babies coming eventually :)

I think that covers it all.

All in all it was an amazing experience that I am so glad I did. Oddest thing was I found myself being much more emotional than I usually am. Maybe it was all the good news. I don't know. All I know is when she was layin out the cards I had shuffled and she put down a card and said there it is, that's you being a mommy, I just wanted to cry. It's still gets me. I think just knowing that I will be a mommy will take some of the stress off TTC. I really hope she is right and I just have this feeling she will be.

Holy optimism :p

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Where Is Jenn And What Have You Done With Her

I am slowly being taken over by the feminine hormones in my body. I have bought 3 dresses and 2 pairs of shoes in the past month. (Dressy shoes, not sneakers). Anyone who knows me knows that this is very unusual behaviour. Alas, I'm really diggin the 40s pin up look these days. The shoes, the clothes, the hair. Everything. I guess the jeans and t-shirt phase of my life is over.

Well maybe.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

I Miss You

Today is one of those I miss you days. I can't lie, everyday is an I miss you day but some days are worse than others. It's amazing how many things you take for granted. A hug, a kiss, a smile. It's amazing what you find yourself missing once you no longer get to experience it on a daily basis. It sucks.

I guess I'm still waiting for that whole, "it gets easier" portion of the deployment. When exactly does that take place? I know it's only (only...ha) been 4 months, but I still miss him just as much as the first second he was gone. I wanna be able to kiss him when I feel like it, or cuddle on the couch just because. I wanna have our life back. I wanna be able to tell him something that happened the second it happens. I hate having to wait to tell him something. Especially when my piece of shit memory doesn't always let me remember until it's too late. 

I guess I really can't complain though. We talk everyday and it's at least twice a day on the phone and most times twice on the internet as well. You don't have to tell me how lucky I am. I was blessed with a wonderful husband who wakes up earlier than he needs to just to call me so we can talk longer than half an hour on the phone and so we can talk for sometimes more than an hour on the computer after that.            

I know this is only temporary, but it feels like forever. I just want him home now. I'm really dreading the end of his leave. How can it be easier (as I've been told) to let him go the second time? I know it's shorter from when he leaves then til when I get to see him again but it's still too damn long. Why can't it just be a 6 month deployment? If it was, he'd be home in 2 months. 

Ugh, I can't wait for this all to be over.

Monday, January 26, 2009

Man, I Hate Being A Woman

Ugh. Please remind me why women have to suffer through this in order to get pregnant. It makes it even better when it's been 4 months and the cramps are enough to make you kill someone (lets keep sharp objects out of reach) and I'm not sure that FF really understands the definition of heavy. I need a "I just lost every ounce of blood in my body" option. I need a portable toilet cuz these awesome fem products just ain't working too well. I'd be better off in a diaper (which it feels like I am wearing anyway). Blah, can't wait til this is over.

P.S. No one better say to me that I'm lucky that I only got it 4 times in the span of a year and that I'm lucky it's been 4 months. No, if I was lucky, I'd not be getting it cuz I was pregnant. 

Sunday, January 25, 2009


Cycle Day 1. That was the second longest cycle I ever had. 139 days. 

Thursday, January 22, 2009

By The Way

Is it a presidential requirement that your wife be ugly and dumpy?

And they say she has great fashion sense...


No Doubt is going on tour this summer with Paramore! 

Huge, huge, HUGE fan of No Doubt. I hope they go somewhere I will be around.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009


They're making Britney Spears change the name of her single If You Seek Amy. (Say it slowly and you'll get it). 

How come she is expected to change her song's title but rappers can continue to degrade women left and right? I get that she is aimed at a younger audience but come on. She's not 16 anymore, she has an older fanbase now. I think the parents should have realized this by now if that is what the big problem is.  It just really upsets me that she has to change her song's title. If this was a rapper's song, especially a male rapper's song, they would never make them change it. Ugh.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Tarot Reading

I went to a psychic today and got a tarot reading done and I got nothing but good news!!!! I am so excited! I'll go into details later but I am soooo excited and happy!!!

Friday, January 16, 2009

What Is Wrong With The World

I don't know if anyone watches stupid reality TV like me, but I watched Rock of Love Charm School and I saw almost every episode and I missed the reunion. Anyway, on the reunion show, Sharon Osbourne got into a fight with Meagan. (She's the annoying, ditzy blonde girl who uses her "hot" body to manipulate guys and try to get her way with everything). What happened was, Sharon told her she shouldn't breed. (LOL!) I completely agree with that. Call me a modern day feminist but, women who use only their looks to get around aren't worth shit to the world...but,

getting back to what happened, Meagan made a comment about Ozzy and Sharon didn't like that too much so she poured her drink on her and attacked her LOLOLOLOL!!! Go Sharon! But the point here is I was watching related videos on youtube and I came across a person who just kept sayin that Sharon got no class (Yeah, and you got no grammar). Then in the comments, there are tons of people saying they like Meagan and feel bad for her and blah blah blah.


I'm not saying that Sharon went the right route with what she did, but at least someone finally put this crazy bitch in her place. I just don't see how anyone could like her. Must be the same people who love and worship Paris Hilton.

I just don't know what to say about America. I am going to make sure I teach my kids that brains are the way to get ahead, not sex appeal. Now, I'm not saying that you can't use what ya got a little (cuz that would make me a bit of a hypocrite) but don't let that be your only way. Believe it or not, REAL men like BRAINS. They want to be able to hold a conversation for more than 2 seconds and they want to talk about more than how awesome it is that your shoes match your bra.

I'm seriously considering moving out of the country. 


Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Speaking Of IF

1. Kick the Habit
Although we all know that smoking isn't good for you, there's yet another reason to avoid or kick the habit: decreased fertility. Both women's and men's reproductive systems appear to be affected by cigarette smoke--whether inhaled directly or as secondhand smoke. Many harmful substances found in cigarette smoke including nicotine, carbon monoxide and carcinogenic and mutagenic compounds. Panayiotis Zavos, PhD, University of Kentucky, says: "The argument against smoking holds true for anyone wishing to conceive, but it is particularly imperative for individuals (male or female) having difficulty in conceiving." (1)

In England, researchers report that smoking diminishes fertilization in women by two-thirds. A study by the University of Bristol and St. George's Hospital Medical School revealed that cotinine, the main by-product of nicotine, is a long-lasting substance that concentrates in the follicular fluid of the ovaries (2) and affects conception.

Women who smoke harmed their ovaries, according to a University of Iowa study. Cigarette smoke decreased the number of eggs a woman produces each month. This may be partially due to the higher levels of male hormones such as androgen and testosterone found in smoking women. Smoking also tends to decrease estrogen, the hormone responsible for producing fertile mucus and making the cervix more receptive to sperm (3).

Smoking also interferes with reproduction because of its effect on nutrients. For example, vitamin C levels decrease 20 to 40 percent in men who smoke one pack of cigarettes per day. When vitamin C drops, a man's sperm are not only more sluggish, but they tend to clump together. Less vitamin C also results in more abnormally formed sperm and fewer sperm overall.

A Galveston, Texas research team decided to test the effect of vitamin C supplementation on male smokers. On average, the subjects' semen contained 43 percent less ascorbic acid (vitamin C) than what is generally found in healthy young adults. However, when two of the test groups received either 200 mg or 1000 mg tablets of vitamin C each day, these levels improved within the first week. The supplemented men showed weekly recovery in sperm health. Most impressive, however, was the substantial sperm health improvement the 1,000 mg group exhibited over the men taking only 200 mg of vitamin C. Overall, the men taking more vitamin C experienced an average improvement of 40 percent in six different sperm qualities. Those taking 200 mg improved by 15 percent. There was no change in the placebo group (4).

Nicotine and its by-products can hurt reproductive tissues. If the vitamin C depleted due to smoking isn't replaced, this nutrient can't do its job and repair the damage. Of course, men should quit smoking rather than try to compensate for the harm smoking does to their reproductive systems.

2. Dump your Diet
Debates rage on about the safety and effectiveness of weight loss diets. When considering the pros and cons of dieting, you need to include fertility.

Recent evidence indicates it's not only fat, but where fat's distributed on the body that influences fertility. A Dutch research group studied 500 women who came to their clinic for artificial insemination. They discovered women whose hips were larger than their waist were more likely to get pregnant than women whose waists were wider. This abnormal fat distribution is associated with a masculizing effect on the body and may be responsible for decreased fertility. The researchers point out, however, that a woman of normal weight is more fertile than one who is either too fat or too thin (5).

German researchers took 25 sedentary women and observed the effects of dieting on their menstrual cycles. Of the women who lost more than two pounds per week, 10 developed disturbances in the luteal, or second, half of their cycles. Another five experienced impaired follicular development. A follicle is a sac within the ovary which houses the egg during its growth. One explanation for these changes is the decrease in the hormone, prolactin that occurred while these women were dieting. Lower prolactin was also correlated with decreased estrogen levels (6). All of these reproductive disturbances could compromise fertility.

Men are not excluded from the effects dieting has on fertility. Scientists at Boston's Massachusetts General Hospital recruited a group of overweight men to test the impact of fasting on reproductive function. After these men fasted for six to seven days, their plasma testosterone fell by one-third. This hormone returned to its original level once the men began eating normally for several days. The researchers speculated that fasting has a direct impact on men's testicles. Lack of food, they think, may inhibit hormone formation or reduce a testicle's response to hormones (7).

3. Timing is Everything
Animals display distinct seasonal changes in their reproductive abilities. Interestingly, the same is true for people. Although the seasons have a minimal impact on modern societal activities, our bodies still respond to changes in the seasons. It is well documented that men's semen quality and count varies throughout the year reaching its peak as winter ends and spring begins (February to March). A British study illustrated a similar trend in women. Several women were seen at Jessop Hospital in Sheffield for artificial insemination. This is important to mention because it clarifies that frequency of intercourse and rate of ovulation did not influence conception. Researchers found that conception, using insemination, was more common from early winter to early spring (October to March). The most fruitful month was November.

Although investigators couldn't offer a concrete reason why this was so, they said it is possible that the pituitary or pineal glands are more active during these times. The endometrial layer lining the uterus may also be more receptive during winter. Or it may be that, for some unknown reason, a woman's eggs are more fertile in November (8).

These findings should not surprise anyone. Nature is cyclical. Not only does a woman's fertility peak during a particular period each year, but also at a specific time each month. The egg lives a short 24 hours during a menstrual cycle. Using natural family planning methods to observe and chart cervical mucus, basal body temperature and other fertility signs, a couple can pinpoint when conception will most likely occur.

About Going Private

I've thought about it and ya know what? F that. Why should I block people from reading my profile cuz a few nutty people have to know what is going on in my life. I say, go ahead. There are plenty of women that are going through IF right now and while I am not talking about anything IF or TTC related right now, I still have my older posts that could help them and there will be new ones as soon as John gets back.

So, crazies, have a ball!

Monday, January 12, 2009

Could The Loooong Cycle Be Ending?

I think AF is coming! My boobs started hurting the other day. Let's hope. I kinda want it but I don't really want to deal with it. It's been 126 days already. Ugh. 4 cycles since February...that's ridiculous.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Who Tries To Be Tough On XBOX?


I was playing Call of Duty 4 with two of my friends in a small team based game and some chick and her boyfriend were in there and they were obviously there just to start fights with people. I  barely said a word cuz I really dislike playing with girls (like, oh my god, he just killed me) and she goes, is that another girl? I responded with a simple yes. She responds with awwww that's so cute. 


Anyway, since I wasn't in my friends party, I was getting bounced between the 2 teams since there was an odd number of players. If I was on their team, I said nothing. I didn't really want to be in the fight that she was involved with between her, her bf, and my friends. 

Then it happened.

We enter a game and her boyfriend goes oh, she must be in party chat. I said nothing. Then he goes and calls me a slut. Oh HELL no! I said actually I am still in here, dickhead. Well, that set off his gf and she goes don't call him that and blah blah blah.  She starts going off on me and calls me all kinds of names and I'm sitting there like, really? Way to be tough with the XBOX. 
Her reasoning for calling me everything she did was because of what I called her boyfriend. 


I'm sorry, did he not call me a slut? At the risk of sounding like a first grader,  he clearly started it.

Not one to back down (obviously) I said some rude things to her. Then they bring my husband into it.


He proceeds to tell me that he is glad it is my husband over in Iraq and not him (which I responded with me too, I wouldn't want a dumbass like you defending our country. I also reminded him that my husband is defending his right to be an asshole on a game) and then he says well, I hope your husband comes home in one piece and not in a coffin. 

What is wrong with people?! You wanna insult me, fine. You wanna call me a bitch and a ho and a slut, ok. Do NOT say things like that to me. How fucking rude do you have to be to make a comment like that. I oughta smack his momma for raising him wrong.

Then I come to find out that after she invited my friend to a private chat to argue some more, she said that she feels sorry for me cuz he isn't coming back. She also said that I may be happily married, but he's not.

What possesses people to say such things? How can you have so much ugliness inside of you to say such things? Sorry her boyfriend doesn't do anything spectacular, but mine does.  And she couldn't even say it directly to me! What a coward. She even sent my friend a message later talking about me more. I got fed up responded back with a if you got something to say to me, say it to me, and she kept trying to get me to join a chat. Yeah, I really wanna participate in some juvenile fight. I finally ended it when she sent a message saying stop responding to me, I am trying to spend my time with someone. I simply said back, if you are trying to spend time with someone, why do you keep trying to get me to chat with you?

That was the end of that.

This whole situation is utterly ridiculous and really isn't worth getting annoyed over, but I had to share it. 

Wednesday, January 7, 2009


There was a baby sock outside the door. Way to make me think about babies even more. Are you kidding me? What are the chances of that?

Baby Fever

I don't know what it is lately but I am so restless about TTC lately. It could be the 121 day cycle I am on, or maybe it's cuz every time I go to myspace they have the 'you might know this person' section and I swear more than half the girls I knew in high school that are younger than me all have at least one child.

This sucks.

I hate hate hate that I can't try right now. I also hate the fact that even though I know better and really don't want to get my hopes up, I still have that shred of hope that I will get pg while John is home for leave. I mean honestly, I am not even getting AF right now so it is highly unlikely that it will happen. That's the other thing that has me going. I have the worst itch to take a pregnancy test. I haven't had AF since September 9th. John left September 21st. I don't even think it is realistic to think I may have ovulated on cycle day 12. Of course then I start to think, well, sperm can live up to 5 days (or so) and then I think, Oh man! It's possible!


I should just buy a cheapy dollar store one and get it over with. Maybe that will bring on AF. Or maybe I need a serious reality check over here.

At least it proves one thing, my mind still plays tricks on me even when there is no chance of me being pregnant right now. Ahhh, the joys of IF.

P.S. Babe, please don't get your hopes up...I'm just being insane.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Going Invite Only

I may be going​ invit​e only.​ This means​,​ if you want to keep readi​ng this blog, you need to send me your e-​mail addre​ss so I can invit​e you.

Certa​in peopl​e perta​ining​ to a certa​in matte​r are looki​ng at my blog way too frequ​ently​ and quite​ frank​ly I'm getti​ng annoy​ed.​ I start​ed this blog as a way to vent about​ thing​s and expre​ss my opini​ons about​ many diffe​rent subje​cts,​ not so peopl​e can keep watch​ and read my every​ move.​

Espec​ially​ peopl​e that have no busin​ess readi​ng it.

It's still​ up in the air wheth​er I will or not cuz I reall​y don'​t want to have to do this,​ but I've been left no other​ choic​e.​

I'll be doing this on Saturday if I do and I'll post a reminder by Thursday if I still decide to do so.

I believe my e-mail address is on my profile page so that is where you need to e-mail me your address. Please leave "Blog Invite" as the subject.


Trying out this new way to post.

Monday, January 5, 2009


Sweet, sweet eBay. 

I have won two items in the past 2 or so days and I LOVE it. I won something for John and I won something for myself. I am just loving this. Plus I am winning things that would cost me double if I bought them in a store. I just keep finding things I love and I bid on it if I really, really like it. I just got a pair of kick ass shoes for $6.00. With shipping, it came to about $16.00. That's how they get ya, with shipping,  but still, it cost me about half what those would have cost me in any store. 

I think the thing I like best is, I can do this in my own home. I don't have to deal with malls or people. I can just sit here, find something awesome, and bid. Plus it's a lot of fun to "win" something.

I think I have found a new obsession. 

Thursday, January 1, 2009

So Glad The Holidays Are Over

That's all I got to say.