Thursday, February 28, 2008

Put The Bottle Down

Ya know what really bothers me? When pregnant women think that drinking alcohol is the biggest deal ever. If you can't go 9 months without a drink, maybe there's a problem you need to address. I also hate it when all they talk about is how they can't wait to get drunk after they have their baby. Ya know what I would be saying if I was pregnant? I can't wait to have this baby so I can meet him or her. Alcohol is going to be the farthest thing from my mind. After you have a baby, you have responsibilities and one of them is NOT getting drunk. I guess I'm just super sensitive cuz of the hard time I am having over here and it just frustrates me when women take that beautiful child they have inside of them for granted.

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Clomid. Take Two

I got my Clomid! I'm so happy. I really hope this works this time. I am sooooo ready to be pregnant. I have been for quite sometime now. It's the one thing I've wanted to be most since I was younger. Hopefully the wait will be over now.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Oh Yeah, About My Cycle...

I got my first natural cycle in 10 months!!!! I started spotting on Thursday and thought it was pretty weird cuz I never spot. Well, the next day, I actually got it! On my own! I was in so much shock. And the best part? When I go to my doctor's appointment tomorrow, I will be on CD5, which means I can start the Clomid THAT DAY! I can walk in there and be like gimme a prescription, I got a baby that needs to be made! Now let's just hope that she gives me that prescription and doesn't want to do a silly u/s or anything first. She better monitor this cycle and give me a higher dosage too. If she doesn't, I am gonna tell her I want the higher dosage anyway.

Crap, I got so much to do. I gotta get back on a temping schedule, I gotta cut down on the caffeine, and I gotta start my prenatals again.

Monday, February 25, 2008

Ahhhh, Home.

So, back from Anchorage. Definitely an awesome time. I finally got to go to Koots. That place is really cool. A bunch of different bars in one building, can't go wrong there. The only part that sucked was when my husband had to go to the car to put a different shirt on cuz apparently white T-Shirts aren't allowed. ...Insert Odd Face Here... I don't get why they aren't, but they aren't. The messed up thing was he wore one all night Friday night and they didn't say a word.

But anywho...

It totally sucked cuz he went to the car, and then Cabrerra gets a text from someone after a short while and just as the text comes through, his phone dies. Of course. Well, we assume it was John so we go get stamped to walk out and then come back in. Well, we don't see him at the car, he wasn't in line, (which he actually was, we just didn't see him), and apparently, you have to wait in line even though you have a stamp and have already waited in line once. So, we wait and wait and wait some more, and finally we make it up there. Then, of course, they want to see our ID's again. Super. John has mine. So I told them that my husband has my ID and he is inside and they make me wait in the front area where there is no door, in a tank top, while Cabrerra went to go find my husband. Gay. Other than that though, it was an awesome time. There was even a live band in part of the bar that was really good.

Let's see what else...

I went to see a glacier. Oh yeah, it was awesome. It was mostly covered in snow, but I did get to see some of the blue on it. Even the snow up there was blue. We were drivin around looking for it and I was lookin at the snow on the side of the road and it was blue. Super cool. I got tons on pictures from the trip so be sure to check those out on my myspace page if ya want. Most will be in the Alaska folder.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

I Think I Am Gonna Cry

So I went to my sister's myspace page and what do I find under her pictures? The pics she took of me about 4 or 5 years ago. I was so skinny! It makes me downright depressed to see that versus what I look like now. So, I'm going to start losing weight. I need to drop 30 pounds to be at my normal weight. The weight I was when I moved up here. Ugh. I went and checked my BMI and I am thisclose to being overweight. I'm now not only short, but fat too. Ick.

Monday, February 18, 2008

One Year

So today marks the day I came to Alaska. I can't believe it's been a year already. We got engaged one year ago today too. He proposed to me when I got off the plane and we were waiting for my baggage. He asked me to hold something and I open my hand and get a ring box. Ahhh, I love it. I was in shock and I literally asked him if he was serious lol. I'm just so glad he didn't get on one knee and propose and shit. Ick.


If you are going to be passionate about something in life and label yourself as such, don't you think you would take the time to spell it correctly?

Ah the ignorance of people (and society in general) astounds me.

I Can't Wait

Til my hubby comes home! Just 18 more hours or so and he will be here. Yay! It's been a long 8 days. I can't even imagine (and I don't want to) what it will be like if he should get deployed. I have decided that it just wouldn't work for me (or him) so the Army needs to not send him.

This isn't even the longest he's been gone before but it sure felt like it. It will be even worse in the summer when he'll be gone for an entire month. ICK! Thank god Jenna will be here!

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Ok Update To Last Post

Yeah, I'm not scared anymore. It was one of the dumbest movies I've ever seen. After all the creepy noises stopped, the movie was just a mess of bad acting and cheese. Oh well. Maybe I'll go watch Blair Witch now. Hahaha, not. Well, maybe...

Remind Me Again

Why I watch scary movies when it is late night and my husband is not here? I've done it almost every single night he's been gone. Then, when I go to bed, every little noise I hear, or everytime Max growls lowly or barks in general, I freak out. I think I see things in the dark and I swear I am sleeping with the bathroom light on tonight.

I'm not even watchin movies that most people would find scary. Let's see The Blair Witch Project. Everyone I know thought it was stupid. I however, did not. The house at the end is the exact house I used to dream about all the time when I was younger. It was just a house in the woods and it looked exactly like the house in The Blair Witch Project. Not to mention, back home there's a cemetary that I used to go to that is supposedly haunted and it just reminds me of it everytime.


Now I'm watchin some movie I've never seen before called Dead Mary. Kinda like Bloody Mary but different. The movie says Dead Mary is a witch (noticing a theme here?) that is worse than her and that Bloody Mary is the 'lame version'. Well anywho. That story used to scare the crap outta me when I was younger. I actually did it once too. Scared the hell outta me. To this day I don't dare do it.

I'm friggin nuts to watch scary movies man. None of them used to scare me. (Probably cuz my old room at my old house was way scarier than any movie out there) Now, I get freaked out too easy. It's mostly movies that can't really happen. Or that people think can't happen. See, murder movies don't scare me. I know that they can happen and stuff. You can call the cops, outrun them, or kill them...whatever. Ghosts and witches and aliens? What can you do? Seriously.

I'm so tired but I don't want to walk to the back of my house. Looks like I'm nappin on the couch...

Thursday, February 14, 2008

I Figured It Out!

I Hate Labels! This is why I'm having such a hard time with this Army Wife thing! I am not one to label myself and this is what has me freaking out. (I would like to thank Alex for my realization to this too). Not once have I defined myself as anything. I am just me. If I were to label myself this is what I'd be, A short, smart, infertile, arthritic, obsessive compulsive, sarcastic, cynical, bitch of an Army Wife. Yeah, sounds pleasant. This is why I just say that I am me.

I want everyone who is reading this to stop for a moment and just think of what you would be labeled as. Does it truly define you?

Labels distract from the actual person. Take for example a gay person. One rarely sees them as anything other than gay. They could be ridiculously smart or incredibly talented in music, art, or anything else but they are only seen as gay.

I guess I just wish that most people in the world (and this goes for people I've never met and never will meet the world over) would not just judge people based on labels.

P.S. I am not excluding myself from this cuz I can't say as I haven't done it. Lord knows I have and I am definitely changing that.

Valentine's Day

What a stupid holiday. Why should you only celebrate your love on one day out of the year? What about all the other days of the year? I am lucky enough to have a husband who not only buys me a present for V-Day (the Across The Universe DVD) but a husband who buys me little presents all year long for no reason whatsoever.

Now, I'm not just bitter this year cuz I will be spending it alone cuz my husband is in Anchorage playing Army, I've always thought this. I really do believe this is a holiday for candy makers. Not saying they invented it, but they certainly took advantage of it. Every candy company has special wrappers for their candy with pink, white, and red hearts or something similarly festive.


Can't I just have my candy?

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Who Is Everyone

I was lookin at my cluster map today and I was just curious who everyone is that reads this. I know obviously who the people are from Buffalo, Michigan, North Carolina, Arizona, Alaska (Fairbanks and Anchorage), Texas, Oklahoma, Georgia and Kentucky. I'm just curious who everyone else is. I see people from Maine (I also see that frequently on my myspace page's map), Illinois or Indiana area, and Kansas. Leave a comment once in a while. Don't be shy. Whether you agree or not with anything I write it's totally fine. I'd just like to know who reads my blog.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

This Is Interesting

Your Hidden Talent
You are a great communicator. You have a real way with words.You're never at a loss to explain what you mean or how you feel.People find it easy to empathize with you, no matter what your situation.When you're up, you make everyone happy. But when you're down, everyone suffers.

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Being An Army Wife, What Is There To Like?

Seriously. I have to be alone all the time, and I'm not just talking about times like these when he is gone for X amount of days, I have to deal with living in a cold, shitty, BORING, place, and I am no longer the person I used to be. Everything I say, or do, or write about I have to stop and think first if I am going to upset someone. That is not my style. I have never let anyone ever stop me from saying what I feel, ever, so why am I doing it now? Why should I care what some other Army Wife or Army guy thinks of me and what I have to say? I tell it like it is and, sorry if no one likes it, but this is me. I'm not changing for anyone. And if anyone thinks this blog is about them, I don't care. It might be, it might not. I guess you can say it's just about how things have unraveled since I've been here...

I hear all the time about how Army Wives are such good friends.


I've been here a year and let's see who do I consider my friends? Oh yeah, all my friends back home. Maybe it's my fault. I'm not one to make the first move when it comes to making friends. Hey, as outspoken as I am, I'm also pretty shy. Or maybe I just have that bad of a personality or something. I'm a very honest person and I tell it like it is no matter what. If that's being a bad person then, wow, I'm bad. I always thought friendships were based on trust, not who can lie the best make the other feel better. If that's what I'm expected to do, count me out.

Don't worry, this isn't something that was triggered by one event. It's pretty much been every event that had taken place since I've been here. I guess I just don't know why people care so much about what I talk about. Especially the ones who claim not to care at all.

Everyone has a breaking point, and I have just passed mine.

Totally Random

I hate when people overuse or maybe misuse exclamation points. I see it so often in the surveys people do on myspace. Like, What is closest to you right pen!!!! or Did you ever know someone who died...yes! Ok maybe that last one was an exaggeration but it helps me prove my point. It doesn't matter if it's one exclamation point or two, I just don't understand it. Why do you need to throw that in there. It could be the least exciting statement ever and still that ! shows up. Eh, I'm bored. My husband's gone for 8 days. Deal with the dumb blogs.

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

My Best Friend Is Moving

To Alaska! With me! YAY!!! She made the decision to come and live with John and I. I think it's going to be good for her. A change of scenery and a change of life. I'm so excited! I can't wait for April!

Friday, February 1, 2008

Let The Game Begin!!

I got my doctor appointment!!!!!! It's not til the 26th of February but at least I got it!!! I can't wait. This is going to be the longest 3 and a half weeks of my life!!!!

You Have Been Warned

Ok, so with this finally being the day I can call for my doctor appointment, I just want to warn everyone that TTC is once again about to be taking over my life. This month long break didn't work (surprise) so now, I will be totally consumed by it. I am going to talk about it, I am going to blog about it, and believe me, you will probably want to rip your ears off and mail them to me by the tenth time I talk about infertility, or babies, or what new pill(s) I'm on and the wonderful effects it is having on me (and my body). Oh, and trust me, there probably won't be a day that I don't in some way make a reference to my cycle. You have been warned.

That being said. I'm nervous. It's more of a nervous/excitement type thing but I am seriously nervous. Maybe cuz I'm afraid that I won't get this appointment til the end of February or even next month. I don't want another month to pass by with no clue what is going on. I don't want another month to pass by that could bring me closer to getting that oh so elusive BFP with no effort.

Oh boy, it's already becoming my main focus. Oh well. This is my blog and I will blog about what I want to.