Monday, June 30, 2008

Happy Anniversary...

To Us!! One year ago today, I married the man of my dreams and I gotta say, this first year of marriage has been easy. Some people say the first year is the hardest, some say it's after the first year that is the hardest. I think that if you love the person you're married to, it will never be hard. Yeah I've got some obstacles coming this year and I'm sure there will be others, but I think if you love that person with all your heart, it will make it easier. I have never been so happy in my life and I have my wonderful husband to thank for that. I love you John!!!

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Boy Oh Boy

I hate when my husband is gone. I have to much time to think. I was taking a bath due to the excrutiating cramps I get, and as I was lying there, I couldn't help but notice how empty my uterus felt. Did you know, in the time it has taken us TTC so far I could have 1 child and another on the way. Especially since we plan on having one after the other. (If that is even possible) That is just depressing. I only have one more chance to get pregnant before he leaves and with all the planning and perfect timing that is needed, I don't even think that is going to be possible. I can't imagine how much thinking I will be doing next month and then all next year. He is pretty much my sanity. I need him here to keep me normal so to speak. Ugh.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Not Pregnant

Well AF showed yesterday. Yippee. I really thought this was it. The way my boobs were hurting I was so sure. They have never hurt that way...ever. Worst part is, John leaves for a month on July 2nd so I can't even take the Clomid and spend the month trying. I have to pray that AF doesn't come on time next month or else we are out for the next month too. I hate this. I pretty much have to count on AF being late, take Provera and then Clomid all on a schedule. Awesome. Why is it that I can't just get pregnant like a normal person? Now I have to go plan out the next 2 months. Fun stuff.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

What You Should Know About Women Going Through Infertility

This post is inspired by a fellow BZ'er who has a more than inconsiderate co-worker.

Please know that we know more than you ever will about what it takes to get pregnant. We know when we ovulate, when we are about to ovulate, and what every little twinge in our bodies mean. We know how to temp, check our cervical mucous, check our cervix, and what will effect everything in our bodies. We also know every position known to man that will optimize our chances at conception. Yes, we have layed in the oddest positions imaginable to make sure the sperm gets to our cervix but that does not make us stupid. With that being said, please don't come up to one of us and ask us if we know when we ovulate, or that every woman ovulates on the same day and please please for your sake, do NOT say that we just need to relax and not stress so much. To quote my BZ buddy "First of all, I am not infertile because I think too much about it and because I stress over it!! I think and stress out, because I am suffering through infertility". Telling us to relax and it will happen is like telling a cancer patient to just relax, the cancer will go away on it's own.

Please understand also, that just because you are pregnant, it doesn't mean you know the best way for me to get pregnant. I am not you. I am not lucky enough to ovulate regularly on my own. It takes medication, sacrifices of certain foods and pain relievers for the headaches we get from the stress and regular visits with the dildo cam for me to even have a normal cycle let alone a pregnancy. Also, please don't say 'I understand how you feel cuz it took me 2 months to get pregnant' 2 months? HA! It's been three months since I've even had a period! (Side note: Yes I do understand when you are trying for a baby if it doesn't happen on the first month it is discouraging but please do remember you are talking to someone who has been trying for 17 months or longer)

One more thing, never say to me 'oh you're young you still have time' You know nothing about my situation so please don't assume that being young is on my side. How do you think it feels that all my 23 year old counterparts have no problems getting pregnant. I'm young, I'm not supposed to be worrying about taking extra hormones to get pregnant til I'm 35.

So please if you want to try to help me, just a simple I'm sorry this cycle didn't work out, or a nice gesture such as going with me for some ice cream or a movie or just plain hanging out or something will work. But please never assume I don't know everything to do and every procedure out there cuz you will just embarrass yourself when I bash you with my TTC knowledge.

Thank You.

Friday, June 13, 2008

We're Gonna Keep Trying!

John and I decided last night to keep TTC. I realized that I really want a baby (duh) and with me ovulating again, I just can't give up. So as soon as AF comes, I am gonna e-mail my doctor and tell her to give me another round of Clomid. I'm really excited about it and actually hope that this time I am truly pregnant. I want to see two lines in about a week. Two lines that actually stay longer than a day. So here's to waiting in the two week wait again!

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Well Isn't This Funny

This is what my chart looks like as of today. My body needs to make up its mind.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

My Chart As Of Now


Monday, June 9, 2008

My Body Needs To Do Something

CD 74 and nothing. I got what looked like another positive test yesterday but who knows. It's a little funny that both my positives came after a night of heavy drinking. I looked it up and every article I saw said that alcohol has no effect on pregnancy tests and that the only thing that causes false positives is medications that contain the hCG hormone. I should call and get a blood test done so I can start BC or something but I am procrastinating for some reason. Maybe I'll just test again on Saturday. Something is going on in my body though cuz a certain part of my boobs are sore. That's usually my big indicator of AF coming. I just wish something would happen.