I'm still torn about whether or not I should continue TTC or not. I want to, but I don't. I was just realizing how much I missed with the two kids next door and I really don't want my husband to miss that. The oldest is now riding a bike without training wheels and the youngest is already running around everywhere. It's crazy to see how much I have missed and I was only away for 8 months. How would it be to miss out on the very first year of your child's life? However, we both want a baby horribly bad. He says he's fine as long as we can have our baby, but I'm really not. As much as I want a baby, I want him to be there for all of it. So what do I do? I know I can't just dismiss what he feels, but I think it would be the wrong decision and I just feel like he would really regret missing out on all of that. Especially if we only get to have one child.
Monday, July 28, 2008
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2 comments:
I had trouble with this when we were still trying before wes left and when he was home on R&R because I didn't want him to miss anything. I think whatever you decide is the right decision for you. A plus on waiting until he is home is that the whole time he is gone, you can try different therapies to try to ovulate and have a normal(or somewhat more normal then it has been) cycle. It can give you more time to talk to drs and do more research and find things that you might have not known about. It seems like in the short time that i have been talking to you and reading what you have been going through, you are at least getting your period a little more then you had been before.
Its definately hard having your kids on your own without your SO there and even harder when they come home with that expectation of getting to know their kids and it takes longer then they thought. No answer is the wrong answer and it has to be right not just for the two of you but mostly you because you are the one having to go through it and handle the situation alone.
I can't try different things when he's gone cuz you can only use Clomid about 6 times before your cancer threat is considerably increased. I'm gonna go on birth control when he's gone to shrink down the cysts but I don't think I will do that until about a month or two before he comes home on R&R and then again a month or two before he comes home. I don't want to be on BC the entire time cuz it will just screw with my body. I just want to be on it long enough to get rid of the cysts. We'll just have to wait and see what happens. Ha, the story of our lives, right?
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