I Still Can't Believe It!

I am just over the moon right now and so is John. Every time he looks at me he just smiles and says you're pregnant. This is the greatest time of our lives. It's especially cool cuz we got our pregnancy story! We were waiting for John to get his second SA and we couldn't BD for 3 (well now it's 5 apparently) days. I felt myself ovulate and we decided not to chance it since we had a doc appointment comin up and wanted the results by then. Well, we just decided last minute to not wait and I am SO glad we made that decision! And all of this comes days before our IUI consultation!!!! I'm so excited I'm not even sure if this post makes any sense lol. My due date is 7/11/10 and I am REALLY hoping that since I've had 3 chemical pregnancies before that she'll do an ultrasound on the doc appointment on Monday or VERY shortly after. I can't wait to see the results of my Beta!!!!!

I'M PREGNANT!!!!!

Yes, I am FINALLY PREGNANT!!!!!!

Almost A Year Later, REALLY?

Today I checked my spam mail and came across a comment on a blog entry from December 17th 2008.

Regular is her and bold is my much awaited response.

Hi,
I was shown your blog by a friend of a friend of one of your blog’s subjects: Amanda. You have never met me so don’t try to sit there and think about who this could be. That would be unnecessary.

(Almost as unnecessary as going through almost a years worth of blogs?)


After having a quick skim through your unedited and atrociously-written blog, I have come up with a few more things for you to “learn about yourself”… maybe you could add them to your super-awesome list?


1)Your inability to conceive is utterly fortunate. Stop victimizing yourself hun, another one of you in this world would be nothing short of tragic. (Oh, and displaying your fucking “cycles” on the internet is deplorable. Fucking idiot. You have a whopping FIVE people following you on here…do you think they care? They don’t, I promise).

Victimizing myself? Ok. I think it's time that people get new insults BECAUSE it's nothing I haven't heard before. Another one of me would be tragic? At least I would take care of my kids. Also, PLENTY of women display their cycles on the internet. Take a look around some infertility blogs and you'd see that. And the 5 people that follow me are only the people that also have blogs. I have plenty of people that read my blog that care about me (and apparently those that dislike me too) ;)

2)You really must be a badass. I mean look at yourself. All those scathing and contemptuous sentences! You must have really showed her! ..... Pshh! RIGHT! You know, if I were Amanda, the first thing I would do upon discovering all of your undignified blog-entries is take a trip down to the courthouse to file a police report. Internet-harassment isn’t legal bitch. Frankly it only makes you look self-indulgent and juvenile.

Didn't you just do the same? Only you did it nearly a year after the fact so who is the self-indulgent and juvenile one?

3)You need a somewhat large lesson in grammar and sentence-construction. Replacing words like “because” with “cuz” only shows that you have no education (or class for that matter)… and that right there is yet ANOTHER reason that hillbilly-bitches like you shouldn’t breed.

I'm sorry, next time I will take the time to correctly write everything just for you. I sincerely apologize for not doing so the first time. Hillbilly? I'm from the North sweetie and I have an excellent education.

P.S. sentence construction does not need to be hyphenated.

4)You are ugly (on the inside and most certainly on the outside). I don’t know if anyone has given you the memo but you should just know that behaving in such a way on the internet doesn’t make you anything but useless and cowardly. If you have said all of this to Amanda’s face, why do you feel the need to post it on the damn internet? Are you that insecure? What are you hoping to accomplish? Think about that.

What is this Kindergarten? I said all this on the internet BECAUSE I wanted everyone to know what was going on BECAUSE all these Army Wives like to start rumours and say things that aren't true and blow things WAY out of proportion. I wanted them to see exactly what was going on. Simply rumour control.

5)Your tattoo looks trashy as fuck and I hope you regret it, because if you don’t, you should. It only accentuates your tasteless facade.

Tattoo? I have more than one which I can assume that you know about since I'm sure you went and stalked my myspace or you wouldn't know what I look like. I do not regret a single tattoo and I didn't get them for anyone but myself so if you think they are trashy, that's fine. It's your opinion and you are entitled to it. I along with many other people, find them beautiful.

Well, I suppose that I could go on (and on)… but I’ll go ahead and let you respond because I know your facetious little fingers will have something to say about this. Presumably, you will be interested to know the origin of my IP address so I’ll just let you know beforehand that I too live in Fairbanks… and for you, that’s a little unfortunate.

I truly hope to see you soon :o)

Hmmmm, wasn't it you a little bit ago that said that internet harassment is illegal? I do believe that is a threat. However, since I'm not a pussy who hides behind an anonymous name, I will extend this invitation to you: If you want my address, you got it. I will gladly send it to you. I'm sure you'd do nothing with it though BECAUSE I am sure you are like most girls in this town, ALL TALK AND NO ACTION.

Can't wait to meet you!

P.S. Using facetious in that context doesn't really work.

My Diagnonsense

I went for my follow up for my heart today. I ended up leaving with a completely unexpected prescription. I left with a prescription for Celexa. Awesome. For those who don't know, that is an anti-anxiety, anti-depression med. Apparently the reason my heart is so out of whack (my heart monitor showed my lowest heart rate at 61bpm and my highest 161bpm) is because the little receptor that gets signals from your brain is basically malfunctioning and instead my backup receptors are firing at will causing my heart to spaz out. So, he's hoping that the Celexa will get my anxiety (caused basically by OCD) under control. (Personally I think it's a dehydration issue). I'm not thrilled with taking this medication at all but I guess I'm taking it anyway. Who knows, maybe this will be what I need to get pregnant. Man, I can't wait to stop saying that.

I'm not comfortable at all with stopping all my habits. If these pills get rid of my OCD, I don't know what I am gonna do. I'm stressed out because this has been a part of me for most of my life. It's who I am. These pills are basically gonna change who I am and I don't know that I am too comfortable with that. Yes, it is annoying to check things a million times and to have to even everything out and yes, I could probably sleep better if I didn't have to breathe on my other arm because I was breathing on other arm first, but, that is me, I am comfortable with that. But the doctor said not to focus on that cuz if I do, the pills won't work.

P.S. The only silver lining in my day was apparently, there is a doctor on post who does artificial insemination. So hopefully I can maybe get that done before I leave Alaska.

Can I Just Say Again...

How much I LOVE Metformin. I have so much energy! At first, it made me very sleepy and from referencing Dr. Google I would be sleepy for a bit and then I would get energy. They weren't kidding. This pill is awesome. I have energy, I am sleeping regularly and I'm in a great mood cuz of it all. Of course it helps that it is gorgeous outside with the leaves changing, bright sunshine, and warm AND the fact that it's a week til John comes home! Right now I couldn't love my life more than I do right now. I'm even feeling pretty confident with TTC. I actually am not one bit concerned about it today. If we get pregnant when he comes back we do, if not, well, that's just ok with me right now. Odd I know but I'm more concerned with spending time with John and then my mother in law and niece are coming up at the end of the month so I guess me getting pregnant isn't in the front of my mind right now. Plus the fact that he is staying in the Army and we have insurance to cover the meds and financial security eases my mind too. I don't feel so rushed anymore. I think this is going to be one great year from here on out. He comes home, we get visitors, then we leave here for a cross country trip to Louisiana, drop our stuff off, and then it's off to Buffalo for a while, and then we settle in the nice, warm south for a couple years. Ahhhh, life is good.

What A Month This Is

So my husband comes home in about a week. I was looking at my chart and since I'm now on Metformin I SHOULD (cross your fingers) have a 28 day cycle hopefully with a textbook ovulation on CD14. Well, I've been stressin about him coming home later than he was supposed to cuz we'd miss our first possible chance at getting pregnant but, I've come to find that if he comes home on the 13th, THAT IS CD14! Holy crap. This is all so much. I got my Metformin, he's coming home, and I could be pregnant by the end of this month. WHOA. Everyone think positive thoughts!!!!!!!

P.S. Even if I don't O til CD21, we'd still have our shot but maybe this is my chance to FINALLY have my awesome baby story.

New Doctor, I Love You.

So far. He put me on METFORMIN!!!! Funny thing is I wasn't even going to the doctor pertaining to fertility. I ended up in the ER because my heart was racing and with the family history, my husband was concerned and thought I should go. So I went and the first thing they do is hook me up for an EKG cuz, as the nurse said, she wanted to 'see if my heart is really racing'. I looked at her thinking, I think I know damn well when my heart is racing but ok, do it up. Sure enough, my heartbeat was at 136 to which she says, 'I guess your heart really is racing'.

^^
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So they ask me all kinds of questions about family history and if my legs hurt and if I've had any numbness or pain anywhere. I told them chest pains come sometimes and my fingers on my left hand tingle. My diagnosis for that? Carpal Tunnel. Awesome. So they gave me a wrist brace.

Anywho.

They decide to take some blood from me. Well as it turns out, I am pretty dehydrated so on top of blood work, I need an IV too. So they try to find a vein and it ain't goin so well. I told them I have a good one on the side of my wrist and to give that a try. The nurse tries and he must have missed the vein cuz pretty much nothing came out. (Might I just add that OW that is not a fun spot to get stuck with a needle). So they keep trying. Two guys couldn't find it and at this point I'm like, hey guys, I can just go home and chug some water, but apparently that's not the way to do things. So, a chick nurse comes in and gets one in my left hand much to the relief of me cuz they dudes were talkin of doin a femoral IV or one in my foot. Ick. They give me one bag of IV fluid and after many hours, I am sent home with a wrist brace and a doctor's appointment. Also, an appointment for an ECG.

So I go to my doctor's appointment and my doctor is asking me the same questions the people at the ER asked me and then he asks if my cycles are always this irregular. I was like, uh, yeah, I have PCOS. So he then asks if anyone has ever mentioned Metformin to me. I told him that my last doctor wouldn't put me on it cuz they have protocols to follow and blah blah blah. He didn't seem too pleased with that and he told me I am giving you a prescription for Metformin today. (YES!) He also decided to do blood work to check my hormones again to see where I'm at. (double YES!)

So I have to go back next month for a follow up and I have an appointment Monday for an ECG (he says he hears a murmur when I'm lying down but not when I'm sitting up) and I guess I find out the results of my hormone test when I go back.

I can't tell you how beyond happy I am that I got put on these pills! Well, except for the nausea and the bathroom issues, I'm happy. Hopefully this is what I need to get pregnant.