My Diagnonsense

I went for my follow up for my heart today. I ended up leaving with a completely unexpected prescription. I left with a prescription for Celexa. Awesome. For those who don't know, that is an anti-anxiety, anti-depression med. Apparently the reason my heart is so out of whack (my heart monitor showed my lowest heart rate at 61bpm and my highest 161bpm) is because the little receptor that gets signals from your brain is basically malfunctioning and instead my backup receptors are firing at will causing my heart to spaz out. So, he's hoping that the Celexa will get my anxiety (caused basically by OCD) under control. (Personally I think it's a dehydration issue). I'm not thrilled with taking this medication at all but I guess I'm taking it anyway. Who knows, maybe this will be what I need to get pregnant. Man, I can't wait to stop saying that.

I'm not comfortable at all with stopping all my habits. If these pills get rid of my OCD, I don't know what I am gonna do. I'm stressed out because this has been a part of me for most of my life. It's who I am. These pills are basically gonna change who I am and I don't know that I am too comfortable with that. Yes, it is annoying to check things a million times and to have to even everything out and yes, I could probably sleep better if I didn't have to breathe on my other arm because I was breathing on other arm first, but, that is me, I am comfortable with that. But the doctor said not to focus on that cuz if I do, the pills won't work.

P.S. The only silver lining in my day was apparently, there is a doctor on post who does artificial insemination. So hopefully I can maybe get that done before I leave Alaska.