Ok, so it's 2:46am and I can't sleep. After reading the surveys from some fellow insomniacs, I go to leave a friend a comment. Well being bored (I stress bored so no one thinks I am "stalking" them or any other riduculous assumption that could come from this) I was just sifting through comments and alas my husband's EX wife is apparently still going by MY last name. Ok, fine, you wanna keep that name after you get divorced, go for it. But when you are married again to someone else, isn't it time to change it to oh, I don't know, your new husbands name?
I'm sure this will start some great big whirlwind effect of nasty annonymous comments or severe chatter behind my back, but I really don't care. I'm sick of walking on eggshells. And before anyone says, well you don't know the whole story, trust me, I know more than you think. And no, it's not cuz I'm "stalking" anyone, it's just things are easily found out through different ways.
Am I wrong to feel this way? How many other people would honestly feel this way?
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Let's Take A Poll
Posted by Jenn at 5:39 AM
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13 comments:
Hi Jenn, hope that you are doing well. When I got divorced, I kept my married name because it's a lot of unplesant work to go back to your maiden name. Like changing name on SS, drivers license, credit cards, banks, etc. However, it's easier and more pleasant to change your name going forward with a new name. I agree that she should have changed her name by now to her new married name. BTW, ice cream it's a fertility friendly food. The real kind with all the high but good fats ;-)
Oh I know it's a pain in the ass to change your name back but it's just the fact of her not changing it to her new married name for a stupid reason. Anywho, glad to hear ice cream is fertility friendly cuz I LOVE ice cream!
i read this blog over not once .. but twice. i couldn't seem to grasp it the first time. you're saying his EX wife still carries his name (and YOUR name for that matter) ... and she is REmarried? I would absolutely be bothered if I were you. I think almost every woman would agree with you on this one. It should have been changed when she moved forward with her life. Sorry I know I'm rambling but I am just sort of .. appauled to say the least. And no I can honestly say I don't know the entire story .. I know what I've been told .. but either way it's wrong to keep his last name with a new man. Just personal opinion of course =)
Well I hope you are well anywho.
-Cher
Maybe if she wasn't hiding the fact she remarried from her Mommy she would change her last name to her new husbands. She should have the babies last name changed as well, pick someone elses name to give the kid, not one that isn't his. Some people are just messed up!
you were totally stalking me.. I know it, you know it.. lets just accept it and make plans to make it more exciteable!!
;)
please??
I dont blame you for being upset.
Ha ha ha. Yeah, I do stalk you, but only a little, jk. We do need to make plans. Let me know when you are available cuz I'm available pretty much always. Lol.
First of all, she cant just "change her sons last name to something else", that is a HUGE legal issue, to change his name without his biological fathers consent-And she isnt even in the state right now to fight that legal battle. You have no idea what her plans are/were/will be, and you dont understand how much of an issue it can be to not have the same last name as your child. She made the choice to take on that name, albeit not the best choice for her life, but it was still her choice, and it is also her choice to keep that name as long as she deems necessary, especially until she is able to go to alaska to take care of changing her sons name.
Im sure there will be a ton of protests to this, but thats okay, because not one person who commented on this blog so far actually knows all the details-and it doesnt matter if you "do research", or if you think you are extremely close to her or not. She has her own reasons, her own plans, and shes laughing her ass off that you take so much time to worry about what shes doing. Getting irritated over small things like this causes stress, and stress is a huge factor in infertility.....just a tip. Not a "dig" against you for having issues conceiving or whatever.....just a plain and simple tip, from someone who ALSO has PCOS and has dealt with it for years.
My complaint wasn't about her son. I know the situation there and I do know how hard it is for someone to get that changed and all that. My mom went through that. That isn't the issue. How would you feel if your husband had an ex wife with the same last name as you? Probably wouldn't be too happy would you. No one would. Especially since that person remarried. And I'm not really worried about what she is doing. I don't care. I just hate the fact that I have to share my last name with her. Again, especially since she is remarried. I wouldn't say I was stressing about it. It was just something I noticed and I felt the need to write it in my blog. It's not like I asked you or Amanda to read this blog. I can write about whatever I want to. If you don't like it, don't read it. And that goes for anyone who reads my blog.
Maybe she shouldn't have had a child with someone who wasn't the man she was with. That would have saved some trouble.
Oh yeah, that was me Jenn.
<3 Jenna
Well now dont take my comment to mean that you shouldnt write about what you want to, but you posted a public blog with a "lets take a poll" title indicating you wanted the general consensus. You asked for opinions, that was mine, whether you specifically wanted mine or not.
As for me, I have contact with some of Calebs exes, and while niether of us were married before, we were both previously engaged, and it may not be the same, but its about as close as you can get. I have no problem with any of calebs exes, he doesnt like my ex fiance much only because jerel had a hard time letting go and he made it known in some very inappropriate fashions. As far as her having the same last name....obviously john is with you, and if you are secure in your marriage(not saying you arent) then you dont have a thing to worry about, so dont sweat the small stuff. and while it may not seem small now, ten years from now you probably wont even think about it.
And FYI, for the general populus....John knew perfectly well that Riley might now be his, EVERYONE knew Rye might now have been his, he made the choice to marry her anyway, for whatever reasons. YOu cant make Amanda the bad guy there, She got pregnant with Rye few weeks before her and john started seeing each other. If john tries to say now that he didnt know, I can think of about 30 people who were AT their wedding who can all verify that John knew, amanda didnt cheat on him, it was before he was in the picture. She did not lie to him about it, or hide anything, and if he says otherwise I can deliver a list of names and numbers to MINIMUM 30 people form the wedding, who all knew it was a strong possibility.
Amanda isnt the bad guy. I dont like John, but hes not the bad guy either. They were young, it happened, its over. Amanda has her own reasons for keeping her last name, and yes, i get how it would be irritating, but dont put energy into it. In the end, I promise it wont be worth it.
Dont take this as me bing a bitch either, because I definetely dont intend it to be that way.
FYI-Don Joses chicken quesadilla mexi minis....in the frozen food aisle, in a yellow box....I ate them constantly, and so did 3 other women I know who have pcos-we all finally got pregnant, and theyre good for jumpstarting labor too.
Just throwing that out there.
Let's Take A Poll was just a clever little title. Most of my blogs have clever little titles.
And not to be mean here either, but being engaged is not even close. As for whether he knew or not, it's one person's word against the other's. I'm not trying to get involved in all of that. If the baby was a girl, it wouldn't bother me as much. But this is a boy, who if he doesn't change his last name, would be carrying on our last name. And aside from the beginning of their relationship, Amanda did cheat on him while he was Iraq. I have two witnesses to that.
And if she knew the kid wasn't John's then why did she bother giving him his last name?
I will try out that stuff though. Couldn't hurt and quesadillas are tasty.
Lol. I don't know. But this particular post seems to be quite the popular post with a certain someone.
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